|
[17 Sep 2005|09:55pm] |
|
MOTHER FUCKERS IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND ON HERE ADD ME FIRST ON MY OTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
make it hurt |
|
| what the !@#$ |
[14 Sep 2005|08:38pm] |
i hate how everyone has to throw up an attitude when i just go off by myself and just be quiet. i don't want to talk, i don't want you to frickin` talk about me, i don't want you to say 'oh there goes meghan again.' i'M FUCKiNG BiPOLAR i CAN'T CONTROL THAT SHiT .. WOULD YOU RATHER ME BLOW UP ON YOU? just give me time .. ask me what's wrong .. it shows you care .. i'll probably tell you later if i don't tell you that second.. i just need time to calm down and think about things .. i just can't deal with a lot. i'm sorry i'm a bitch and you don't like how i act .. i try to control myself, i just can't deal with people throwing up attitudes. i TRY okay, i TRY to be nice and calm, but sometimes i CAN'T and i'm SORRY. i had a bad day today, i have had bad days for the past three weeks.. ever since school started and i had a panic attack because i found out albert was back. it's not because of him, because he's out of my life. i mean yeah i think about him sometimes, and i wonder if he's okay, but that's all.i don't wish anything upon him or anything to happen upon us. i don't know why i've had bad days .. at the beginning of the summer i was SO fine, i loved it and i partied.. but ever since i stopped partying, i judst feel like fucking shit and i don't know why. there's a hole. somethigns missing, i need a boy. i need more medicine. I NEED A BEST FRIEND. just three things, just three. i can't really go on any longer like this. i cry almost every other day. i hate it. i hate feeling like this. i miss my old friends. i miss my new friends. i miss everything, i fee like i can't get back what i've had, i feel like i have nothing. i have noone to turn to, someone i can tell anything and they know what i mean, and i don't have to explain it. i wish someone just understood me, who knows why i am the way i am.
i'm tired of this ..
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[19 Aug 2005|05:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
i miss buck more than anyone in the whole wide world.
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[12 Aug 2005|11:44am] |
|
Okay well lately i have been really busy. I have been hangin out with Amber alot were def. Best Friends .Like we have been with eachother like everyday! its so great we always have so much fun and do crazzy things. I went to Myrtle Beach too it was so fun! i loved it i got so much stuff and a Tan!..Its great lol. Right now im at Ambers just hangin out and then i have a Docters appointment at 1 and then were going to the Creek!! with Steven, shane and zac. IT should be fun. Omg Soccer two a days def. start on Monday me and Amber are going to Die! lol it will be fun though. well g2g i think were going to play Minature golf!! Peace
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[14 Jul 2005|04:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
please disregaurd the last entry, because it's so not true. lol i'm wierd about shit. oh well. peace bitches.
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[21 Jun 2005|05:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
things are SO boring lately. i mean, i've had chances to do things .. but they all involve sneaking out with people i don't know that well. and i'm a chickin when i don't have one of my girls with me. and i don't like sneaking out with people i don't know that well. that scares the crap out of me. i don't know why. i guess it's a part of ... i HATE new things in my life. i don't like change, and i wish it would all just go perfect. things are changing a lot lately. and i don't like it. me & raleigh like havn't hung out in forever. i'm erins' third best friend now, not second, and raleighs third.. not first. she'll always be my first though. i'm not a fucking virgin wtf is that. shit happens. i wish i wouldn't have done it though. more sex will come this summer. i can feel it. lol yeah but anyways, thats private and i shouldn't be talking about that. so we have soccer on tuesdays and thursday mornings. gayy. but it's all good, it'll get my fatass in shape. i also have practice on monday and thursday nights. gayyy. i got a spech b|c i said i'm not odp because i SUCK . and they were like did this whole speach on how we need to be positive and positive thinking keeps you from sinking and i was like i dont' want my boat to sink and they yelled at me! wtf lol i'm scared to do new things. i'm scared to get close to someone i don't know that well. i can't trust people that easily any more. i'm just .. scared. i don't know why. it's whatever. i love my friends with all my heart.
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[15 Jun 2005|06:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
awh i'm SO glad i finally have a secret that NOONE knows about. [ cept my ra! =) ] ah that's so hott.
today was the last day of school & i skipped with liz! i love her. lol .we went to D lunch and talked to allie & lauren b! laurens' so funny i miss her. =/ but i can't change anything so yeah .. but anyways .. i came home with my needledick wagner! lol he's hilarious. anyways .. i came home, went to sleep for like 5 hours. woke up, ate.. now i'm waiting for jewls to come over!!
|
|
1♥make it hurt |
|
|
[13 Jun 2005|01:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
then again some days .. i hate you more than anything..
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[10 Jun 2005|07:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny [ lol ] |
] |
i don't think i'll ever stop liking you.
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[05 Jun 2005|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x)shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested (hand cuffed)
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Mi
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone off myspace/livejournal
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone
(x) made a snow angel
() had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
( ) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) robbed someone
(x ) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
() been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been lost.
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x ) sung karaoke
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis" in class
(x) ate dog food
(x) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) madeout at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(X) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking.
(x) played chicken fight
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[24 May 2005|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
i'll make myself SiCK over it, i run away from it all, but i still can't get it off my mind. iT WAS STARTiNG TO BE FiNE.. and then it erupts again. i'll cry, throw up, cry some more.. what else is new?
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[23 May 2005|09:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
why do i cry everyday? why do i only feel better if i talk to patrick about nothing at all? why do so many put me down? how can i look so happy, but know i'm not? where do i find the strength to go through everyday? why can't anything ever go my way? what did i do to deserve all of the shit people give me?
i hate how only one person can make me feel better without even trying. fkjaf fag,
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[18 May 2005|04:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 soO freakin happy<3 |
] |
i freakiiinnn loooooooooveeee my two best friends. they are the bessstttt everrr <3333 raleigh and erin broough me balloons and cards from both of them because i GOT OFF GROUNDED TODAYY!! damn i lovee them soo much. they make my world go around. loll i looveee them more than anythin<33 i pretty much have the best friends in the whole entire world.
i brought jess her presents today. i almost cried, i had to go reall fast .. i would have cried if i didn't. i miss her.
BECKA - FRIDAYY FO' SHO!!!! lolol <33
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[15 May 2005|11:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dirty |
] |
i had another wierd dream last night. welll .. it started out i was going to a soccer game and i don't know who i was with, it was a guy or a man driving , and we were in a truck, and it was one of those three seaters. i think it was me the dude and julie, but i'm not sure. well we kept having to turn around for some reason and we were like in the middle of a highway and like the cement bariers were really high, and really there was all different just like cement pieces everywhere at like each stop light and each turn. so we kept having to turn around and stuff and then we got to this placei n the highway where you went in a circle, like an exit, and it reminded me of star wars or sometihgn, because like the cement bariers were so tall, and then i could see really really really tall city buildings over top of them. so we finally get to my soccer game, and everytihng is cement but the field. like the parking lot, and like cement walls around it or sometihng. and thenn we are in all white and greg is there as our coach, but at that point i don't think i was thinkin about that because i saw ashley hassychak dressed in our uniform and i was like what the fuck is she doing here with our uniform on, and someone like sam o was like shes the backup goalie and i was like haha we can all tell that. and then likee i unno what else happened but like i think that me and ashley acutally became friends like 2 weeks later or somethign i don't know.
|
|
1♥make it hurt |
|
|
[14 May 2005|12:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dorky |
] |
i had another dream.. this time we were on my porch. and cassidi and ashley and i THINKK katie was there and they were all sittin on my porch .. and then i was like cassidi ima tell you the real story and i was like do you want me to tell you the real story and she was like no i don't care anymore. and i was like well i never said anythin to the cop about you i swear to god and she was like i know, and i was like why were you so mad i was like i didn't say anythign about chelsi but she was there before i started drinking and i had to say i was with bigs b|c my parents already knew i was with her and i had to.. and she was like that's still pretty fucked up though and i was like n0o one could get in trouble and she was like yeahh, lets not talk about htis anymore its over... and then we were exactly how it used to be.
wtfffff .. why do i keep having dreams like this.
anyways .. some people need to realize .. that what they're doing isn't right.
i loveeeee you bethyb0o. <3
i hate being in the house with everything i have. lol FOUR MORE DAYSSSSSSSSS .. SIX MORE DAYSSSSS TILL I SEE MY RARA!!!! =D we are going to have fun. because we always do, and she's my bestest friend and i love her to deathhhhhh.
jessica's birthday is coming up in four more days too.. i'm getting her a birthday present.. even if we aren't friends .. i'm bringin it to her house after school .. dsahjoidfhitejf yeah i miss her.
at target i have to get crystal light, glitter pens, Secret body spray, 36 mafia cd, andd shiittt i can't remember the other cd, but it was a good one omgg . lol MIKEEE JONNESSS. there we go, and i think that's about it, but i have to put all of this on here so i can remember it lol
|
|
make it hurt |
|
|
[07 May 2005|03:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
i had a dream last night .. that i was crying crying crying, and then cassidi showed up .. and everone knew iw as crying .. but only she came .. and sung to me like she did b4 when i was crying .. and i finally stopped and i told her what really happened about the whole drinking|police thing .. and she was so happy that i really* didn't do anything to her, and we were best friends again, and we spent everyday together.
dreams ...............................
|
|
2♥make it hurt |
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xpuckerupxx's journal
giddy
anxious
content